It’s heart month! Do you feel the excitement?
No?
The truth is, I’ve had Februarys that weren’t filled with romantic love. I was going through a divorce, or I was between relationships, or I had no romantic relationship in sight. Because of these phases, I experienced emptiness while others enjoyed feeling fulfilled in their relationships.
BUT, I learned something very valuable during those times that can apply to everyone no matter their current romantic situation. In this way, I am quite thankful for the love-deprived or the love-desert experiences I’ve had in the past.
If you have read anything I’ve written, you know that my key saying I repeat over and over is, “You always have options with everything.” I live by it. It keeps me going. Nothing like feeling sorry for oneself during February that stimulates a desire for options.
I learned:
Option #1: I can love myself. I can make my own fun and treat myself to flowers, dinner, and gifts. This is no small realization. There are times in life when we have to love ourselves by ourselves for ourselves. No external intervention.
I can resonate with Miley Cyrus’ song lyrics:
I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can
Getting to the point of loving oneself without the need for external interaction is a wonderful place to be! While I love having a husband now who does bring me flowers, I know how to love myself every single day because of the romantic love-drought times in my life. Instead of delving into despair, I chose to love myself, do for myself, and to buy myself things.
And, the personal growth during the romantic-void phase did more than fulfill the traditional Valentine’s Day obligatory trappings. It empowered me. It lifted me out of the drudge. I shifted into, “I’m not only okay with my current status. I’m really good!”
Option #2: I can give love to others. There’s a reason I call February heart month instead of love month. It is a time to ponder love – all the aspects of love: grandmother love, aunt love, parent love, friend love, husband love, nature love, pet love, Earth love, body love, work love, and so many other loves of life! Romantic love is just one of many!
I learned to give love in the form of cards, notes, presents, phone calls, spontaneous gifts, heart cookies, and surprise visits to others. Giving to others what I would like to receive is the name of the game here! And, what happens?? Is there an imbalance that occurs? Not normally. What happens is that all that love that was given out came back.
What I learned is that when there is a love deficit (real or perceived), give out what is wanted. It’s the most fun and easiest way to receive back what is desired.
Option #3: I can utilize a whole year view. February 14th comes and goes each year with much fanfare. It’ll pass. Plan your experience without all the external influences. Make it your best February 14th ever, then move on. The rest of your year is awaiting!
Option #4: I can view the current February experience for what it is. Who benefits from the commercial Valentine’s Day event? The card industry does. The flower industry does. The restaurant industry. The chocolate industry does. February 14th will come and go. Then, the rest of the year will ensue.
Option #5: I can see the opportunity with February 14th. Instead of feeling down, where can I share love? Where can I help others? Where can I brighten someone’s experience? Who needs a hug? Offering to volunteer is one opportunity that really gives back nearly immediately. Volunteering at a pet shelter is instant love going both ways. With all that unconditional love pouring out, you won’t miss flowers!
The truth is that February 14th is your opportunity. Loving a pet breeds love. Love is amplified. If you are a beacon of love, then love will find you. Appreciate the romantic love that others express toward each other. This is bringing the same to you. Feel the love of parents to children and vice versa. This is bringing the same to you. Love is so reflexive!
Looking at the outpouring of love during this month is truly an experience in and of itself. Why people need a month to do these things is another blog topic for another time, but it is nearly a global explosion of love exchanges to witness! Be part of the experience! So, plan your February.
If you or your child are experiencing dread about the upcoming February event, you always have options. Even if you or your teen just “got dumped,” empower yourself and your child to utilize February’s love energy to make it your best February ever.